Carpe Diem!

When I was flipping through the radio stations this morning I heard the song “I Can Only Imagine”. We sing it a lot in church and I just think the words are thought provoking, hence ….the long jabber from me that will follow. Sorry, for the sappy thoughts ….but I always feel better after I write or express my feelings to someone (which is you).

The last couple of days I have had an uneasy feeling about death. Yes, call me weird, but periodically someone might say something that makes me start to think “How long do I really have?” and “Do I have everything in order so no one person has to guess what to do at the funeral?” I think this all stems from a conversation that Tracy and I had the other day regarding a friend of ours, Donna Monroe, who just lost her husband and is fighting for her own life as she battles cancer. Donna is always so positive despite the challenges that she faces each day. She always finds the beauty in nature and anything she does. I realize she has a different perception of life, which I’m trying to seize so that I appreciate every waking moment that I am here. I stop and wonder if I will be here to watch Kennedy start kindergarten, go on her first date, catch her first fish, dye her hair for the first time, drive a car, say some encouraging words when she has her first heart break from a boy, has a child, graduates from school, contemplates what she really wants to do in life, and so on... Will I see my husband grind his teeth as he meets the first boy who wants to drive Kennedy on a date, will I be here to watch Trey advance in his job, shoot all of the trophy animals that he dreams of getting, hear about his amazing bird hunt after going to Argentina, see him marvel when Kennedy goes on her first daddy’s fishing/hunting trip, and will I be able to kiss him before I go to bed tonight and let both of them know how much I love them, my family, and friends.

I still have way too many kites to fly, songs to dance to (like “I Will Survive” at Kennedy’s wedding), kisses and hugs to give, and trials to face in life. Despite the ups and downs…I love life, I love my family and friends God has blessed me with, I love the pimples on my face and the extra weight in my hips(not really) . Here is to more sunny days, the smell of fresh cut grass, getting together with family and friends, going home and hitting no red lights, standing in the rain, kissing the one you love, and for the ability to forgive, forget, and move on……Carpe Diem!